Medical Madness - Part 2

30 April 2012

Appointment with IJN was at 8am.... tp sbb keluar rumah awal....sampai dalam kul 7.30... nasib baik! org da ramai.... smpai 30 min earlier pn i was the 12th person..huhuhuhu.... so da buat registration semua.... mula queue to see Dato Dr D*avid C*hew.. i was the 6th person....alhamdulillah..rasa xlama kot.... sangkaan ku melesettt....kul 11 baru dapat jumpa doc.... he went through all my documentation and suspected the same thing...but he wants to do all the tests again to confirm that it is infact pulmonary hypertension that im having... huhu..masuk lagi..kali nie 5 hari... skip work lagi....getting a bit rasa bersalah asyik xmasuk kerja.... doc said that he'll be doing a few tests... ECG, Echo, LFT, 6 minute walk test and most major and invasive of all, Cardiac catetherization.... the admission was set on the 20th June 2012...

sementara tggu date... i lead life as normal as possible..tp i do some reading on the procedure... scary! ade byk side effects but its very rare that it happens.... pejam celik pejam celik..20th June was upon me...

20 June 2012

admitted to IJN 2.00 petang...pg tu baru nak packing.... packing...mcm nak gi holiday! sbb tau nak masuk for 5 days.... so mmg pack everything...takut ade yg tertinggal da la jauh...xnk susahkan family have to patah balik to take my things....

hehehe...siap dgn entertainment skali...takut bored in the room sorg2 at night......

sampai IJN at 1.30pm... so ngam la kul 2.00 petang nama kena panggil....tp room not ready. kena tggu after 3 baru room ade...xpela..xlama pn nak tggu...dlm kul 3.30 cmtu dapat bilik...so i settled into the room...and ade room orientation lagi...layanan mmg best...all , nurses helpful and friendly...not to mention, lembut juga..... bilik die??? ceria gilerrr....mmg selesa sbb besar...xde la rasa crowded bila family ade....

ceria kan? rasa mcm good mood je...tp sebb setting bilik nie biru...rasa sleepy all the time....

igtkan xde pape la kena buat hari nie..just admission..tp xjuga...kena buat ECG... dlm byk2 test...this one is the easiest...ddk je...hehhee....lepas da buat ECG..masuk bilik balik..and rest.... keesokan hari nyer.... awal pg kena ready dah... sbb nak buat LFT and 6 minute walk test.... walk test nie nak tgk how far i can walk and how is my heartbeat and oxygen saturation level... have t walk from one point to another for 6 minutes..sounds easy? not for me...mengah2... rasa cm nk pengsan and hearbeat laju gilerrr..... after the two test is done..i went back to the room...

da rasa nervous...memikirkan esk nak wat yg CC tu...huu...takut giler.... procedure die adelah utk memasukkn camera frm my groin to my heart to check what is wrong...sounds crazy right?? even more crazier if i told u that they'll be doing the test with me wide awake! huhu... lepas da lunch.... i was called to do the echo test...yg nie..senang tp sakit sikit sbb the scan tu ade guna bebola yg akan ditekan pada dada kita...tp gagah kan juga.....

Dapat health basket from my PMC dept!.... im lucky to have an office that feels like family.....

2nd fruit basket frm the office... (HR fikir aii budak nie 2 kali dah tahun nie.....)

FRIDAY CAME!

they woke me up at 5.30am for me to get ready... i had to puasa frm 4.00am no food no water before the procedure... so i pn tros siap...pakai gaun siap2..gaun kuning menyala....tggu punya tggu...nurse xmasuk2...hurmm...rasa td suruh siap awal...tetibe dlm kul 9.30, nurse suruh makan dlu...then puasa balik.. terpaksa tangguh sbb doc ade meeting... terpaksa redha....tak sabar nk get it over with! 

dicucuk sekali lagi di sini.... hopefully after this da xde dah......

kul 2.00 ptg nurse masuk....huiyo!!!!! its time...terus berdebar2..lepas tu malu..kena tolak ngn katil ke OT... pndang atas je...xnk tgk org sekeliling...sbb mesti dorg fikir..nape muda sangt da kena masuk.... hurmmmm...masuk OT kena sambut ngn nurse lain...ramainyer org dlm OT nie... lepas tu igtkan tros mula la..tp x..kena tggu..sbb OT ade 2 je...dalam kul 4.00 baru mula procedure.... time tu PANIC! takottt..... and terasa sejuk yg teramat sgt.... peluh sejuk semua da keluar... boleh rasa wire tu jalan dalam badan.... suddenly sakit perut sgt2!!! xtahan rasa nak nangis.... tp tahan jugak....doc lama2 bg painkiller...lansung drowsy....the doc told me..im not allowed to move my right leg for 6 hrs.... aiyo! mcm mana nie...doc kata its very important..takut puncture wound tu burst and blood will be spewing out....

sampai bilik! i burst into tears...xtau kenapa...so much emotion came over me and it was overwhelming.... mungkin nangis sbb sakit sgt..and nangis sbb relief that it was over.... xtau mcm mana org boleh buat test tu for 2 3 times...i will never want to repeat it again...xnak mmg xnk! 6hrs gone by.... and my leg feels like i have been climbing up the mountain... doc xdtg lagi utk explain...i thought mgkin next morning kot!

23 June 2012

the next morning...doc came by...said that i can discharge today..alhamdulillah.... tapi..the news wasnt so good... the doc confirmed that i suffered from Idiopathic Pulmonary Hypertension... idiopathic cuz they cant find the cause...maybe from birth.... the normal reading for BP in a human lung is 10 to 15 or anything below 25 is normal..but mine... the highest reading was 80 and lowest was 40 so my mean was 60...3 times higher than the normal limit.... the high pressure causes my heart to overwork@overpump, therefore the right side of my heart is bigger than the left whereas the normal heart should be vice versa. if untreated...the overpumped heart can cause failure that can be fatal.. the disease is very rare...the odds is about 6 to a million.... and so far there is no cure for the illness. in severe cases, a lung transplant would be the solution... so all the doc can do now is to treat the symptom..take med for the rest of my life to control the pressure... according to the doc..with my condition... pregnancy should be avoided because my heart is overworking to pump blood for me...so its not possible to pump for another human being.... and the fact that the med  in taking is also harmful to the fetus..

what i feel???

the needle was taken out when it was time to discharge

as soon as i heard all this facts... i began to cry.... i didnt know that this would affect my life so much...not to mention..the meds are expensive..and without my father...there is no way i can afford since the meds are 75% of my total salary.... i just cried and cried...not knowing what to say or think.... but i have the best and world class support system... my FAMILY is all i need to go through this...they have been my star and my rock throughout the whole entire experience.... i cant thank them enough for being by my side..every step of the way.... to repay their kindness is beyond my reach..and only ALLAH swt can.

right now...my strategy is to live healthier...eat healthier...and generally to improve my lifestyle...mana tau with the reduction of my weight...i dont have to depend on the meds so much.... pasal pregnancy...after so many words of encouragement from family, friends, friends of the family..i realised that's all ALLAH... if and when ALLAH says yes to me being a mum.... it will happen for me.... medical and science can only go so far..the rest is all up to ALLAH the Almighty....

by writing all this down...i reflect my experience...i record my memory and my feelings...with the ending of this entry i close the sadness part in of all this and i carry with me the love and the positive.... to my family..my friends..u know who u are... i could never do all this without all of u... i love each and everyone of u... dont worry..there's enough space for all of u since my heart is dilated.... hehehehe.... cuma ALLAH dapat balas semua jasa and kind words....i promise that this would not impair my spirits and i would live as normal as i possibly can........